So get this...

.

 I've wanted to make YouTube videos for a while but I don't feel comfortable in front of the camera and don't have the means to make them. I think YouTube is a good platform to interact with people but I just can't do it. 

So I have an idea. I'm not 100% comfortable with snap chat but it's an easier platform for me to use. Last weekend I decided to practice my makeup for Abaddon and put pictures up on snap chat. I like this. We can interact. I can be as detailed or not as detailed as I want in a tutorial and it's just fun.

I hope to do this every weekend from now until the end of October. That's 17 weekends. Minus a few because I'll be on the road for cons or concerts or have family in town. But you get the idea. 

I have a small list going of looks that I want to try. Most are supernatural related because that's where my head is lately and to be honest it might be a permanate state of mind. Oops. Oh well. 

If there's a look you want to see me try go ahead and comment below or send it to me on Twitter. I'm willing to try :) 

Anyway here's my Abaddon from last weekend. 

Compared to when I did this look two years ago I might be improving :) 

SeaCon cosplay competition

"And now we'll be judging the cosplay contest"

Shit. Here it comes.

"Please make your way to the front of the room and get in line. Castiels to the back of the room please."

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Put my jacket back on. is my hair okay? Is my makeup alright? Do i even look human? Dont trip and your walking up there. For the love of chuck dont trip. Okay i can do this. I can do the thing. No big deal. My costume looks great. Oh shit theres another abaddon. ... and another. They all look better than i do. Keep your cool. This is going to be okay.

Okay. I found the line. Omg the girl in front of me looks so bad ass. the trinkets on her belt are amazing. The girl behind me has pie. Omg is that a human samulet?

"And now we'll have our first group of cosplayers up on stage"

Up. Up on stage? Oh hell no. I did not sign up for this. Everyone else is nervous too. Quick make a joke to calm everyone down. Okay that worked now what.

Still nervous. thank god im not in the first group. I can see whats going to happen first. Im such an awkward penguin.

Okay he lines them up and lets people take pictures. Oh her costume is great! Look at that person smile. He puts his hand over each of their heads and they scream for their favourites. The favourites are the final three of that group. The rest are escorted off the stage and given a print of J2 as a participation prize.

Okay my group is next. Oh shit. My group is next. Don trip. Dont trip dont trip. Dont let the girl in front of trip in those heels either. Her pie smells so good. Edible props. Good idea. Im hungry. And nauseous. Maybe we'll wait to eat for a while.

Oh god theyre taking pictures. I hate taking pictures. Quick whats a good abaddon pose. *strikes pose* (basically i didnt move at all and kept my hands at mt side. Great pose, kat.) This is ridiculous. Dont smile. Abaddon doesnt smile. Dont laugh. Why are you lauging? I guess its kinda funny.

Okay. His hand is above my head. Barely any screams. ... i dont understand. What did i do wrong? The other two abaddons were in the final few. What did i do wrong. I dont understand.

Okay dont cry. Dont cry. Its just adrenaline leaving your system. Dont cry dammit. Take your final lap around the stage,get your picture, and go find tasha.

Look at you, bad ass. You just went through your first cosplay contest. Sit down before you pass out.

Note to self: learn how to pose and take pictures.

And that is basically how my first cosplay competition went down. Sorry it has taken two months to even talk about SPNcon. In a nut shell it was the greatest weekend of my life. I have plans to go again and again and again. More cosplay competition too! ... just need to learn how to portray the characters better.

If you have any ideas let me know. I have another competition in a couple of months and i want to do a photo shoot for some of my cosplays as well. So excited. So nervous.

Carry On My Wayward Son

I'm sorry if this is rambly but it's just where my head is at the moment. 

Supernatural has been picked up for its 12th season! Grab your salt, weild your angel blades, and hop in the front seat because this show is going to go for another year!! I was worried about it being renewed because of the way the plot has been leaning but we've got a whole other season to say goodbye so yay! 

I've recently converted my roommate into a supernatural fan and it's been the best of times. We're headed to the Seattle stop of the Supernatural tour next week (six days, I can't handle this). I'll be cosplaying at all the events we're going to.

Four cosplays for three days and I'm still holding two of the costumes. Cross your fingers that I can finish at least one of them in time.

Friday Night Karaoke - Castiel 

Saturday - Abaddon

Sunday - Amara / Darkness

If you see me at con come say hi. If you aren't going to con and wanna hang out and see what con is like my snapchat is : awelshollow 

I've been snapping the progress of Darkness' dress for the last couple days. So if you wanna see a girl go crazy as she is hand stitching a dress from a bed sheet... Check it out. 

Congrats to the Cast, Crew, and Fandom of supernatural. We did it fam! 

Love Yourself First

Always Keep Fighting

You Are Not Alone

2016

Next to Halloween, New Years is my favorite holiday. It's a time for reflection and a time for resolution. And though we do these things throughout the year, the world comes together and celebrates the birth of something new and it's beautiful.

I usually celebrate New Years by writing. I write about my resolutions throughout the year, what I achieved and what I learned. I write about my goals for the next year and what I want to accomplish. Small things, big things. Silly things, serious things. 

I usually take a selfie at 11:50pm December 31st and then another at midnight January 1st.

I like to make note of the firsts of the year. First song, first movie, first this first that.

I stay up for fireworks despite the fact I hate the noise.

I didn't do any of that this year. I passed out at ten and went to work the next morning. No journal entries. No selfies. No firsts. No fireworks.

Ever since I moved to Washington I've stopped doing things that I like. I stopped playing video games because I don't have a system. I stopped writing. I stopped painting. I stopped creative make up. Everything I love to do is packed away in a strange closet. Work keeps me busy so I don't think about these things but when I slow down enough to think about them I get sad. 

Which is why 2016 is going to be a year of selfishness. I need to integrate me back into my life. My words. My art. I don't have anywhere or anybody to be this year but me and I love the possibility. So yes, my resolution this year is selfishness and it's long over do.